IN MEMORIUM
ALBERT A. DEKIN, JR.
JAN 24, 1944-JAN 28,
2010
A PERSONAL NOTE BY
GEORGEIE REYNOLDS
About 175 colleagues and students
gathered to say goodbye to Al on February 3rd in Newark Valley, NY,
his longtime home. Ray Newell,
Al’s college roommate at Dartmouth and long-time collaborator in archaeological
investigations, came from the Netherlands. Richard Stern, one of Al’s first PhD
students, came from Anchorage. It
seems like only yesterday when Richard defended his dissertation in 1979 and
when I met Ray in Barrow in 1981.
All of Al’s children – Kelly,
Kerry, Kirsten and Al III – were there with Al’s multitude of grandchildren. The kids were philosophical and not as
prone to tears at the memorial service as some of us were. Kirsten introduced herself to me and
said, “I’m the one that killed
your gerbil.” Alas, she was not
the best caretaker when Tim and I left Buck in her charge during the summer of
1981. But she is a fine young woman now with a wonderful family.
Beth Turcy Kilmarx and Jake
Kilmarx did the lion’s share of work, feeding and comforting us, putting people
up for the night, coordinating with the funeral home and with the family. Their selflessness, kindness and
strength are hard to put into words.
I felt like a member of the
“Alaska Old Guard” with Richard and other AK friend, Julie Steele, both of whom
were Al’s students in the 1970s/early 80s. Others from the Utqiagvik crowd who made it included Jon and
Anne Lothrop, Chris and Mary Margaret Polglase, Dan Cassedy and his lovely wife
(who’s name I don’t recall), and the Kilmarxes.. SUNY students from “the dream
time” included Sue Prezzano, Nina Versaggi and Ed Curtain.
Albie spoke poignantly about his
Dad. He did Al proud. And Jake gave an emotional eulogy. To paraphrase – “Al was my best friend;
but he was your best friend, too.”
Speaking of Al’s generosity, Jake echoed Al’s words” “What do you want
for dinner? I’m cooking chicken AND ham!”
His acts of generosity went beyond a free meal. Tim and I were married in Al and Ruth’s
house in 1980-and it was his idea! A night at Al’s was not just a bed; it was
an invitation to lively conversation lasting well into the night. There were
countless other generosities bestowed on “the tribe” throughout the years.
This is how it is: we were all his friends, not just
“colleagues and students.” Al
tended to follow his flock and extend the hand of friendship long after
graduation. I graduated in 1993
(my diploma actually says 1994-who knew?), but my last e-mail from him was this
past December 19th.
Driving up to Binghamton, I couldn’t
help but about think about a couple of movies. The first was The Big Chill. How could you NOT think
of it? And the second was the original Star
Wars movie. Princess Leia’s
home planet is exterminated by the evil Empire (that’s the Empire of Evil, for
your Republicans). In another part
of the galaxy, Obi Wan Kenobi suddenly staggers and says, “I felt a great disruption
in the Force, as if a million people cried out.” Doesn’t that
hit home?
I think Al would pooh-pooh the
grieving, but of course none of us can NOT grieve. It is too great a loss. AND, it’s too big a loss to shoulder
alone. Hence, the promises of staying in better touch, and the hugging and
bonding (or rebonding) that took place last week. I think Al would want us to lick our wounds and carry
on. “Do the best you can do!” he’d
order in his booming voice. And because Al had confidence in us, I know that we
will. It was a privilege to be his
student and his friend. I will cherish our friendship the rest of my life and,
yes, I will strive for excellence because that’s the perfect memorial to this
remarkable man.
